view on a map
CLOSE
Seven Bizarre Ways Barcelona Can Suddenly Kill You
1. Death by Sand.
Be careful not to get so drunk during the Sant Juan party on Barcelona beaches (June 23rd). You may lose consciousness and be left on the beach. You wake up some hours later and start to climb your way out of the hole you have buried yourself into, spitting the ton of sand out of your mouth, you confirm your phone and wallet have disappeared and then you look around for your mates, you see them walking off with the other ten thousand revellers, you stick your hand up to shout, and then you get run over and flattened by the trucks that come and clean the sand the following morning.
2. Death by Looking Up and/or Around.
What a lot of people DONT do when they visit Barcelona is they neglect to look up and notice the detail in the architecture. But be careful doing this, it is said that one famous Catalan (by the name of Gaudí) may have been admiring his own work when he was suddenly run over by a tram! Also, some may say the reason people don’t look up is they are too busy looking around at the lovely sites that are walking around the streets of Barcelona. Again be careful, you may walk into an open manhole or be pushed in front of a tourist bus by your jealous partner.
3. Death by South Americans.
They’ll have you exhausted of love, money and partying. You may find after one more after-party, you keel over as your heart has decided enough is enough and death is far more relaxing.
4. Death by Catalan Independence
At least once a month, the Catalans are out in force screaming about their independence. Be careful you don’t stagger out of a bar and fall into an oncoming demonstration wearing an “I love Madrid” t-shirt.
5. Death by Christopher Columbus.
According to the history books this is the man that discovered America. According to the Irish, it was St. Brendan. So don’t get too wound up if you’re Irish and see the statue of Christ at the end of Las Ramblas, and then on a drunken St.Patrick’s night, you decide enough is enough, damn this abomination to hell, and venture with your hack saw to cut him down. Guaranteed, you’ll get the job done, but his giant arm and finger that is pointing to the Americas is bound to come tumbling down and stab you in the chest.
6. Death by The Three King’s Parade.
On the 6th January, every single Catalan kid with their parents is out in force and lining the streets of Barcelona waiting for the Three Kings to disembark the boat after the long journey from Bethlehem. Whatever you do, stay at home, or better still barricade yourself into a bar, because venturing out into the streets with the intent of getting somewhere is suicidal. You may think that crossing Via Laietana for example is a very easy task, surely the kids will understand that you just want to get to the other side and go about your business. Wrong. They have been standing there for eight hours in the cold and they would rather lose their Barbie collection than risk losing position. First you’ll notice that they ignore your polite requests to move, like you’re not there, like you don’t exist. Then once you’ve decided you’ve had enough and have been extremely patient, you’ll attempt to budge pass them. Now, watch, as these very sweet little kids’ faces home in on you, they darken, you notice a strange growling noise and then you see their teeth. They pounce on you and pull your hair and bite off your ears. The parents help by standing on your chest. Your flailing arms, your screams and shouts being silenced once and for all.
7. Death by Tiles and Tapas.
For nine months of the year, Barcelona is a hot city, saved only by narrow streets that shade the locals from the heat. You won’t find central heating or carpeted floors anywhere. Air conditioning and tiled floors are other preventions against the humidity. Therefore be aware, there’s always the chance that after finishing your little tapas and beer session, that you climb down off your bar stool, slip on the wet tiles and crack your head open.
Bornliving 